It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
