does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize