Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I need a beard to bite.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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