Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
