i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
