GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize