I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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