We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize