They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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