Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
There are leaves in my underwear?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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