All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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