I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
