dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So vagazzling was a success
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
