So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
