i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Green mimosas i think yes
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I believe in your delicious
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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