hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
