So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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