There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
