Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
May the power of my ass compel you!!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
