My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
