i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
