I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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