There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
well you can't waste a boner
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Floor bacon is actually really good
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize