So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
