How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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