Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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