After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
