Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
