We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
