I hate all girls vehemently.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
