He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
