Midget sex pt 2 tonight
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
