I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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