Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fuck appropriateness.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
