Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What happened to fro yo and sex?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
