OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
