So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
