i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
