The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
