Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just had sex on a roof
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
