I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
why is half of my head shaved?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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