It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
