i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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