well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
