made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
