I need to stop coming to work sober
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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