please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
