Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I cut my penus on the lid.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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