did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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