I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
