I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
