if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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