no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
