hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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