at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize