Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
