They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Someone signed my nipple.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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