i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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