Kiss
Puke
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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