Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
