You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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