Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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