But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
