Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize