dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
