When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
