operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I can't turn off my feet"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
