Tell her she can't have a vagina
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
