garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
