But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
