So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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