My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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