you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
