so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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