You work out of a Hotel?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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