If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
