all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
