Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
