I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
